Friday, February 11, 2005
Winners and Losers
To me, a Winner is a Loser who is able to pick himself up from where he has lost. Take for example, me. Yes, in school I may be somehow stronger in English than the rest of my classmates, but it does not mean that I have won the race and that I should be complacent for the rest of my life. I still have to face my O levels, and I need at least an A2 to get into the course I desire. I can barely scrape off with even a B4 for my common test, and Manjusri's standard is comparatively low. When Ms Cheong showed me my results, I felt disappointed with myself. Not only did I do badly for all my other subjects, I cannot even meet the standards that can allow me to get into a good course in poly. I envy all the others around me, even though their foundation of English was poor, they did fairly well- some even scored with flying colours for almost all subjects. I want to tell them, " This is not the end. You're doing far better than me."
Today, I am making the effort to let you guys know how I struggled through during my Primary school days. Yes, I come from a Chinese speaking family, and no, I do not speak English at home. My kindergarden days were the worst- being unable to tell my English teacher that I needed to use the toilet. Well, she taught me the first complete sentence I ever uttered in my life.
" May I go to the toilet, please?"
Yep. This is true. For the fifteen years of my life, I could only speak Chinese at home, since my mum was Chinese educated. So what exactly happened?
I came across Buffy the Vampire Slayer. This is no joke. The first book I ever found myself so deeply was a Buffy novel I found stashed in the Children's Section of the National Library. Frankly speaking, it was actually the gorgeous hunk I saw on the cover of the book that compelled me to read it. Gradually, I found myself completing the entire Buffy collection in the library and moving on to anything I found was interesting. My standard of English "bloomed" ( the only word I felt would fit best) during Primary 3.
However, along with the great improvements in English that even my teacher could not believe, I began to neglect the other subjects. I failed every Maths test I came across and my Band 1 for both Chinese and Higher Chinese slipped to 1 and merely a "pass" on my PSLE certificate. In midst of my classmates burying their heads in their textbooks, I amused myself at East Coast Park every day without fail with a storybook perched on my lap.
Now, as the O levels draw nearer each and every day, I cannot help but think whether I can pass. I'm in the Crisis stage of my academics; being unable to pass simple tests and sometimes taking hours to finish a single piece of work that can be done in a single flash by some of you guys. I used to feel inferior, but perhaps not anymore. I made some important choices in my life, as some of you may have noticed. I chose "revision" over "shopping" and "books" over "tv".
This is the time for all of us to work hard. I have seriously taken all these years I had for granted. For you guys who may not have done well in your common tests, fear not. You have the best classmates whom I have failed to recognise over these months. May our friendships carry each other through the difficult times, and never give up, for those who choose to give up and do nothing are the Losers. Strive hard, and give your best in everything you do and may we emerge as the Winners of the race as a class, as the best friends we can ever be.
-valerie 11February2oo5, 10.07pm
Valerie RANTED. 9:33 PM
